Love, Happiness, and Other Impossibilities
by Rhianwen
Summary: “Cupid? What a silly idea! Why have one guy fly around in a diaper, spreading love and happiness, when you can have an entire corporation dedicated to it? Uh, without the diaper, that is.” LG, AZ, possibly XF
1. A New Mission? It Sucks to Be the Intern

Love, Happiness, and Other Impossibilities

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Summary: "Cupid? What a silly idea! Why have one guy fly around in a diaper, spreading love and happiness, when you can have an entire corporation dedicated to it?" L/G, A/Z, possibly X/F

Notes: Yes, this is the second story I've done with Maeve and Kieran, my own two original characters with the exceedingly interesting and taxing, but rewarding career of Love Fairies. This story has no connection to the first, aside from being another typical mission for two typical Love Fairies. It won't be referenced in this at all, so don't worry about reading Trials of a Modern-Day Love Fairy. Unless, of course, you like Final Fantasy 7, and cute, fluffy Vincent/Yuffie 'fics in particular…

Anyway, the point is, I thought the Love Fairies fit much better in the Slayers universe than they did in Final Fantasy 7, and being rather short on original ideas for Slayers stories, I decided to recycle my little OC's. As one might be able to guess if one has any familiarity with my pairing preferences, this will indeed be Lina/Gourry and Zelgadis/Amelia (particularly the second) with possible heavy doses of Filia/Xellos…if I can just figure out how the heck to write those two.

Oh, well. Enjoy!

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A New Mission? It Sucks to Be the College Intern!

From the doorway of the small café, Maeve scanned the crowds of people, searching for one particular head topped with glossy black hair and an excruciatingly annoying personality. Of course, how Maeve planned to pick up on her partner's personality through only a glimpse of the back of his head was something that she would doubtlessly have disdained to answer, instead glowering angrily at you and failing utterly to intimidate.

The primary reason for this unavoidable failure to intimidate had nothing to do with the utterly unintimidating blue eyes, blonde curls that flatly refused to grow past her shoulders, and little upturned nose – just like a dab of putty, she always lamented. 

No, the more likely reason was that Maeve was six inches tall. Six-and-two-ninths, as she would have made haste to tell you, had you been in a position to ask, but two ninths of an inch surely doesn't make that much difference to the average person.

All this being beside the point to the miserable young woman currently trying to squeeze between two people as she cursed all those inconsiderate jerks who refused to take off their wings when manners obviously required it.

   "Ow!" she shrieked as the particularly aggressive wing of a very tall man – at least eight-and-a-half inches tall, Maeve reflected as soon as she could see again – poked her in the eye. Then, with a heavy sigh, blinking a badly watering eye fiercely, she wiped a trickle of perspiration from between her eyes and continued scanning the crowds.

The day was hot, and so it only stood to reason that the inside of a small building packed with people would be stifling. 

   "Of course, Kieran had to pick the most crowded place in the city to meet," she grumbled. "And then he doesn't even show up! Sometimes I think that man lives just to annoy me."

At this unlucky juncture, the world went dark, and she heard a voice call into her ear with sickening cheerfulness, 

   "Guess who!"

After fuming for about half a second, Maeve got an idea. 

   "I don't know," she said, voice dripping with sweet, innocent confusion. "Someone who's going to DIE VERY SOON?!" 

With this, she wheeled about and planted her fist in the mysterious person's stomach. She smiled smugly. _That's the last time Kieran will try that crap with me!_

Then, as she knelt to relent and help him up, her smile melted into an expression of horror as her eyes lit on a shock of curly brown hair. _Good Gods above, it's not Kieran!_

   "Uh…geez, I'm really sorry," she stammered, helping the youth to his feet.

The second he was able, the boy tugged away from her arm.

   "I thought you were someone else, okay?!" he exclaimed, backing away quickly. "Bloody feminists!"

Before she had time to ponder exactly how horrendous violence and feminism connected, she found herself feeling suddenly a lot more annoyed than she had two seconds ago. She turned slowly to her left and glared at the dark-haired young man crouching next to her.

   "Hey there, cutie-pie! I'd offer to buy you a drink, but you obviously aren't lookin' for love tonight, with the way you dispatched that last interested suitor."

   "Shut up, Kieran," she sighed. "What the hell took you so long to get here, anyway?"

   "Bad traffic," he replied solemnly as he stood and led the way to a table in a corner slightly out of the main area of the restaurant.

She blinked several times as she pondered this.

   "Hold on," she finally said slowly. "Didn't you walk here? Don't you live, like, two minutes away from here?"

   "Yup," Kieran replied cheerfully.

   "Then how…never mind," Maeve finished in an annoyed grumble as she slid into her seat, across from Kieran. "What's up, anyway? Why did you have to drag me out of my lovely, air-conditioned apartment on the hottest day of the year?"

The young man pulled a bulging file folder from his shoulder bag and slapped it down on the table.

   "I'm sure you're aware that Sylfia has a new job for us?" 

Maeve blinked.

   "No, I didn't know about that." She frowned, hurt. "I wonder why Sylfia didn't tell me."

Kieran watched her sympathetically. He reached across the table and took her hand. Slightly taken aback, she tried to pull it away, but stopped as she met his eyes, luminous pools of very green sympathy. Or something. She blushed slightly and decided that it wasn't worth the effort, anyway. Too damned hot to move, really.

   "I wouldn't worry too much about it," he finally said kindly.

   "Why's that?" she asked suspiciously. Women's intuition was telling her that she would be booting some arse in the near future…

   "Because I was supposed to tell you about it last week," he replied beamingly. 

   "_What?!_" she exclaimed, drawing the attention of every other denizen of the café. She lowered her voice. "And when do we have to leave on this 'mission'?" 

   "In three days," Kieran replied. 

   "Well, at least it's not tomorrow," Maeve said sulkily, almost as though disappointed that Kieran had not been quite as stupid as he might have been. "So, who are we working with this time?" 

   "There are six people, actually."

She stopped abruptly in her perusal of the drink list.

   "Six?" she echoed. "I thought we dealt only in couples at a rank as low as ours."

   "There are six people," Kieran repeated. "Three couples."

   "Oh," Maeve laughed sheepishly. "That's a little more normal…"

At this juncture, a waiter appeared long enough for Maeve to request a Peach Bellini and for Kieran to request a beer, still in the keg if possible. The waiter replied, either unwilling to play along or unaware that Kieran was trying to play, that he didn't think it would be possible.

As soon as the slightly too serious young man had left, Kieran reached for the file in the middle of the table.

   "This is the first couple," he told her, removing two photos and laying them out in front of her.

   "She's pretty," Maeve noted admiringly, picking up the photo on the left. It was of a young woman with smooth, fair skin, large red-brown eyes, and masses of long, strikingly red hair. The blonde recalled her own limp, short, annoyingly curly hair, just the colour of ash, with a sigh. And red! Redheads never had to worry about looking plain! Their hair was just so vibrant, it brought automatic life to their faces! Even though this girl clearly had enough without it. One could practically sense her energy and spirit, even  from a photo. "Well, who is she?"

   "Her name's Lina Inverse. She's a sorceress, and a damn powerful one at that."

Maeve suppressed a groan.

   "Why do I get the feeling that that's going to come back to bite us in the ass?"

Kieran laughed before nudging the photo of the man toward her. She picked it up and glanced at it with mild interest…and then looked back again, quite startled.

   "That's Gourry Gabriev," Kieran informed her, perhaps more loudly than strictly necessary.

   "Uh-huh," she agreed absently, staring dreamily at the dazzlingly blue eyes, the friendly, engaging smile, and the long golden hair sweeping over the broad shoulders of the young man in the photo.

Kieran gritted his teeth, noticing that a thin trail of drool was beginning to make its way from the corner of her mouth.

   "He's a swordsman," he continued, even more loudly. "And our report says he's really stupid."

   "With a body like that, who needs a brain?"

   "Hopefully, Lina Inverse feels the same way," Kieran said with a forced laugh, eyeing the little puddle of drool beginning to form on the photo of that same redhead. "Although, if they've been travelling together for the last six years, I'd say she does."

This got the attention of the woman across the table. 

   "So, if they've been together for six years, why is Fred even bothering to send us?"

   "Apparently, they've been travelling together as friends for six years."

   "Ah. Denial."

   "Yup," Kieran agreed cheerfully. "So first, we'll deal with giving those two the little extra push they need."

   "At least it'll be easy," Maeve noted philosophically. 

Interestingly enough, just as she said it, the clear blue of the skies went from cloudless to obscured by sulky-looking dark grey clouds, and the next moment, both fairies jumped in their seats as a crack of thunder shook the small building.

   "Weird weather," Kieran noted as heavy raindrops began to pelt down against the window next to their table.

   "Yeah," Maeve agreed absently. "Well, I don't want to spend all day here, so let's see the next couple."

Nodding, Kieran withdrew two more photos and slid them across the table, wondering with vague resentment if she'd start drooling over this guy, too.

He needn't have worried.

Maeve picked up the photo on the right, that of a young man. She started slightly as she noticed that his skin was decidedly blue, and dotted with patches of a darker blue. A rather good-looking face, she decided, despite the blueness. His hair was slightly more normal looking, a silvery purple, cut short, and flipping out oddly at the sides of his head. After inspecting the photo more closely, she looked up at Kieran.

   "Okay, what the heck's with this guy?"

   "His name's Zelgadis Greywords. He's a third rock golem, which explains the pebbles in his face. At first, I just thought he'd gotten into a motorcycle accident when he was younger, and they couldn't get the rocks out."

   "Kieran! That's gross! Anyway, go on. Anything else I need to know?"

   "Well, he's also a third brau demon."

   "That must've been one hell of a family," she noted. 

   "He wasn't born that way."

   "Oh, boy…what happened?"

   "Well, when Mr. Greywords was a young man, he was apparently put under a spell by his grandfather. He wished to become stronger, so the old man turned him into a chimera."

   "Great," Maeve whimpered, recalling the vaguely grumpy expression of the man. "Let me guess: this has given him a whole multitude of social issues, adding to the multitude of social issues that he already had, and it's gonna make our job as Love Fairies a hell of a lot harder."

   "On the nose," Kieran replied cheerfully. "Now for the young lady."

Maeve set the photo in her hand aside and picked up the other one. Seconds later, a delighted expression crossed her face.

   "Oh, she's so _cute_!"

   "I agree," Kieran said with studied enthusiasm. Just see how _she_ liked dealing with a partner who drooled over the subjects!

However, this failed utterly.

   "I've never seen anyone so friendly-looking," Maeve continued, staring adoringly at the photo of the young woman, dark hair cut short, with large blue eyes, and a smile that did indeed seem to invite all the world to make friends. "Heck, _I'd_ go out with her! So, they're the second couple? Don't look very compatible, do they?"

   "I'm sure they'll surprise us," Kieran replied. "Her name's Amelia, and she's a princess of a kingdom known as Seyruun."

   "Seyruun," Maeve repeated thoughtfully. "I don't think I've ever heard of it."

   "I'm not surprised. It doesn't figure largely in our realm, after all. If you haven't been to that specific dimension of the mortal realm, you wouldn't be likely to have heard of it."

   "Nope. Anyway, does this one have any chance of being easy, too?"

   "Well, that all depends. It says that both of these two were erstwhile travelling companions of Ms. Inverse and Mr. Gabriev. And in this photo of him, taken fairly recently, you'll notice that he's got a touch of pink about him."

Maeve looked at the new photo, and smiled dopily at the sight of a small pink bracelet adorned with a round blue gem, hanging around the neck of the canteen tied to the man's belt.

   "One of Miss Amelia's, I assume?"

   "Yup," Kieran replied cheerfully, sliding another photo towards her. "See? In this photo, taken long before the other one, she's wearing it."

   "Nice! I don't suppose they're…travelling together, or living in the same city, or, y'know, going to a party together within the next few months, or anything convenient like that, eh?" Maeve asked hopefully.

Kieran shook his head sadly.

   "No, he's kind of a wanderer at the moment, and she's more or less indoors, doing paperwork."

   "So, how do we swing this? Do we impress upon his mind that he absolutely _has_ to go to Seyruun, right now?"

   "Well, there is one thing that might be useful. You see, Mr. Greywords is of the hope that he will be able to find a cure for his curse."

   "Okay…"

   "And, as I recall, there are many places in Seyruun to check for that sort of thing."

   "Come on, Kieran. Wouldn't he have checked there already, if he's got a friend who could get him in anywhere he wanted?"

   "It doesn't have to be logical," Kieran reminded her snippily. "We're Love Fairies!"

   "Oh, right. Hey, maybe this won't be such a pain in the arse!"

Kieran's expression grew solemn.

   "Maeve, I'd have thought you'd have learned by now never, never to say that too loudly."

   "Right, right, sorry. Well, get to the third couple."

   "Okay. Now, at this point, I ought to make something else clear. For this mission, we'll be taking on a college intern."

   "Oh, brother," Maeve muttered. 

   "Come now, Maeve," Kieran grinned. "Three couples _are_ an awful lot for a team of two."

   "College interns are always equal to the level of productiveness of negative one Love Fairies," Maeve retorted. "One of us will be doing the actual missions while the other cleans up after the messes that the intern makes. So in this case, three couple are an awful lot for _one_ Love Fairy."

   "Well, that's why Fred's put these three couples into one file. We're supposed to give our new little friend one of the couples to work on independently. She's only supposed to come to us if she needs help. Since they're all in the same dimension of the mortal realm, we can keep an eye on her while we work together on the other two missions."

   "I guess that makes sense," Maeve said dubiously. "Oh, well. Let's see the couple."

Kieran withdrew two more small snapshots from the folder and tossed them to the table in front of her.

   "The man's name is Xellos. I don't believe we have a last name for him, although he is the servant of someone who goes by the name of Beastmaster Zelas Metallium, so we might get away with calling him Xellos Metallium, just for convenience's sake."

   "Uh…interesting," Maeve commented, frowning at the picture of the cheerfully smiling man, eyes obscured by being closed, dark purple hair falling to his shoulders. "So, what else do we need to know? Given that he's the servant of someone named 'Beastmaster Anything', there's gotta be something."

   "There is, indeed. By our best estimation, Xellos is part of a race of monsters."

   "Monsters," Maeve repeated slowly. 

   "Monsters," Kieran confirmed cheerfully.

   "Okay, what the hell is Fred trying to pull? I thought we _only_ dealt with humans!"

   "Just wait; it gets better," Kieran assured her, gesturing to the other photo.

Dropping Xellos' photo with a sigh, Maeve picked up the other one.

   "Well, at least she looks normal enough," she commented, examining the photo of a young woman, very beautiful indeed, with long golden hair falling past her hips, almost to her knees, large, tranquil blue eyes, and a peaceful smile.

   "Guess again."

   "Oh, Gods. What?"

   "Guess."

   "She eats bugs."

   "Weirder."

   "She's his cousin."

   "Weirder."

   "His sister?"

Kieran hesitated.

   "Not quite that weird. And think along a different line."

   "They've been mortal enemies from birth."

   "Getting warmer. Actually, they've been mortal enemies since long before her birth. She's a Golden Dragon, and our information states that he nearly exterminated their race single-handedly."

Maeve blinked, digesting this sizeable shock for quite some time. Then she threw her hands up in exasperation.

   "Great!" she wailed. "Why do we have to set these two up? Has Fred been drinking again?"

    "Remember, Maeve," Kieran said soothingly, patting her hand. "We have a college intern working with us."

As though following his train of thought, Maeve brightened considerably at this.

   "Oh!"

Then, together, both said,

   "We'll give the third couple to her."

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End Notes: Hee! I already like where this is going. I have a feeling, though, that it's going to be mostly a story about the disastrous attempts of the third Love Fairy to make Xellos and Filia think happy romantic thoughts about each other. And given that I have no idea how to write either Filia or Xellos, and certainly not Filia/Xellos romance, it could be interesting. Oh, well. It'll still be funny, and there'll be lots of Lina/Gourry and Zelgadis/Amelia, too. I just think that there'll only be so much chaos that our Love Fairies can bring about with Lina and Gourry in the process of 'suggesting', and Zelgadis and Amelia lend themselves less to chaos. They'll probably be the sweet, sappy part.

Xellos and Filia, however, nothin' sappy about those two! ^_^


	2. Mission Underway! DimensionHopping Can B...

Mission Underway! Dimension Hopping Can Be Murder!

   "Damn it, where _are_ they? We were supposed to meet twenty minutes ago!" Maeve muttered angrily to herself, clutching her suitcase tightly and weaving through the crowds of people currently…well, crowding the station of the Inter-Realm Transport System. "As if constantly waiting for Kieran isn't enough! Now I've got to stand here, waiting for Kieran _and_ our new little college friend to show up!" 

Finally, just as she was about to storm, fuming, to a pay phone to call Sylfia and tell her that she, for one, was out, two voices shouted, one directly into each ear, 

   "Guess who!"

Stiffening, Maeve turned slowly, vowing to keep a careful reign on her temper until after she made sure she had the right culprit before pulpifying him. As her eyes met Kieran's, she smiled far too sweetly, Kieran began to back away.

As he turned, she leapt, and two minutes later, stretched and sighed contentedly as he lay, twitching, on the ground. Then she turned to the grey-eyed brunette watching this odd scene in equal parts of horror and curiosity and amusement.

   "Hi! I suppose you're the one who'll be working with us for this mission?" 

The girl nodded mutely.

   "I'm Maeve," the older woman said, holding out a hand.

   "I'm Lara," the brunette replied, taking Maeve's hand as Kieran dragged himself to his feet.

   "Hey, why did you beat me up, and then go make friends with Lara immediately?" he demanded, hurt. "She shouted in your ear too, you know."

   "You probably put her up to it," Maeve said, glaring frostily at Kieran. 

   "Can't argue with logic," the young man shrugged. "Take your bags, ladies?"

   "No, thanks," Lara said, smiling a little too widely, as though uncertain of what else to do. "I've got it."

   "Maeve?"

   "Forget it," she replied immediately. "Knowing you, you'd throw it at a cow or something."

   "Are you still mad about the last time?" he pouted.

   "Okay, do you have _any_ idea how hard it is to get replacement wings in the mortal realm?" she demanded. "That suitcase had all my stuff in it!"

   "But the cow wasn't moving," Kieran pointed out calmly.

   "You could have thrown a rock at it."

   "Of you could have, like, tried to nudge it out of the way," Lara pointed out. "You don't always have to use the violent approach."

At this, both Maeve and Kieran stared at her oddly. 

   "Yeah, I guess not," Maeve admitted after a long moment of silence.

   "But what else do we use?" Kieran asked, utterly confused

   "Reason?" Lara suggested. "Logic? 

   "I…guess that could work," Kieran said slowly, frowning thoughtfully. "But…what if we went into a store and they were trying to way overcharge for what we wanted? You'd almost have to be violent in that case."

   "Or you could go to a different store," Lara said patiently.

   "Okay, that's all well and good," Maeve spoke up, "but all situations aren't that simple. What if _all_ the stores in the area are overcharging?"

   "Then I'd say the price of what you need has gone up, and you should probably just pay it."

   "Just…pay…it," Kieran repeated slowly, tentatively trying out the words. "Okay, okay, okay, but what if all the shops are _sold out_ of what you need? I'd say that warrants the hurty approach." 

   "But what will it solve?" Lara protested despairingly.

   "Solve?" Maeve repeated, then laughed. "You're so cute, Lara. Okay, here's a situation for you. Say you have this partner, and he's always being a real idiot. Like, he shows up late, acts like a twit on missions, and just generally makes everything way harder than it has to be."

   "Maeve, are you talking about Kieran?"

A pause.

   "So, what's your advice? Tell me how to deal with him non-violently."

   "Well," Lara said thoughtfully, "the most effective way I can think of is for you to withhold sex until he gets his act together."

   "Oh, Maeve would never do that to me!" Kieran cackled as Maeve turned an unhealthy shade of purple. "She wants it too much."

   "And you're just askin' for something a lot more painful," she growled at him.

   "Be still, my beating heart! How do you always know just what turns me on?" he cooed.

   "Oh, dear," Lara giggled. "Did I misread your relationship?"

   "A little," Kieran admitted.

   "A lot," Maeve corrected through gritted teeth. "Look, the train's here. Can we just get going?"

   "All right! Everyone got their tickets?" Kieran asked.

Maeve looked at Lara. Lara looked at Maeve. Both looked at Kieran and shook their heads slowly.

Kieran's smile wilted slightly, and then returned in full force.

   "All right! Everyone to the ticket booth!"

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   "All right! Everyone got their tickets _now_?" Kieran asked enthusiastically half an hour of long line-up, squalling children, and grumpy ticket booth girl later.

   "Yeah!" Lara exclaimed just as enthusiastically.

   "Yeah," Maeve said flatly.

   "Great!" Kieran said. "Then let's get to the train!"

   "Um, Kieran?" Lara ventured timidly. 

   "Yeah, Lara?"

   "The train left while we were in line."

Kieran's smile wilted a little more than it had before, and then once again returned in full force, if with a slightly pained quality.

   "All right! Let's go return these tickets and see if we can catch the next train!"

---------------------------------------------------

   "All right! Everyone got their _new_ tickets?" Kieran asked through slightly clenched teeth another half hour of patient explanation and less patient argument with the aforementioned grumpy ticket booth girl later. 

   "Yeah!" Lara exclaimed with wilting enthusiasm.

   "Yeah," Maeve said with growing impatience. 

   "Great! Then let's get on the train!"

Maeve peered out the window of the station.

Lara peered out the window of the station.

Maeve looked at Lara.

Lara looked at Maeve.

   "We don't see any train," they said together. 

Kieran took a deep, calming breath.

   "When does the train get here?"

   "I think the next train comes at eleven-forty-five," Maeve said wearily.

   "And what time have you got now?"

   "Nine-thirty," she replied flatly.

Kieran slumped forward in despair. Then, resolutely, he straightened up and pasted a very artificial smile on his face.

   "All right!" he said as cheerfully as an Amazon princess at a Promise Keepers' convention. "Then let's find a place to get a nice cup of coffee while we wait for the next two hours."

   "Coffee?" Maeve asked doubtfully.

   "Good thinking, Maeve," he congratulated her. "Let's find a place where we can get a nice stiff drink while we wait for the next two hours."

   "Okay!" Maeve and Lara exclaimed together, with matching enthusiasm for the first time.

-------------------------------------------

   "Maeve," Kieran slurred, draping an arm heavily over her shoulders, "did I ever tell ya that yer my bestest friend? My cutest friend, too," he added with a wink.

   "Uh, that's great, Kieran," Maeve said, patting him on the head and moving as far over as the narrow barstool would.

   "And what am I?" Lara asked with mock-hurt. "Chopped liver?"

   "Yer too young to be my friend, kid!" Kieran declared, wheeling about to shake a stern finger at her, and immediately falling off his stool from too sudden a jolt. "Ow…"

   "Hey, Maeve," Lara murmured to the older woman.

   "Yeah?" Maeve asked wearily, downing the remainder of her Irish coffee.

   "Do you think we should tell him that he's been drinking non-alcoholic beer for the last hour and a half?"

   "No, Lara, let him have his fun," Maeve replied, rolling her eyes in fond exasperation as Kieran giggled wildly from the floor.

   "Hey, Maeve, guess what," he called.

   "What, drunkard?"

   "I can see up your skirt! Helloooooooooo, nurse!"

A silence fell over the bar. A still, heavy, oppressive silence. 

The early-morning merry-makers – all six of them – came to a dead halt. 

Drinks sat on tables and bar alike, utterly unheeded. 

And somewhere in the distance, a dog barked. 

   "Okay, that's it," Maeve growled, hopping off her stool and directly onto Kieran's stomach.

   "Ow!" he shrieked. "Spiky heels!"

   "It can only get worse, bud," she informed him sweetly, wrapping her hands tightly around his throat.

   "Aaaaaaaaaack!" he noted curiously.

After about fifteen seconds, Maeve found herself being distracted from this new, wildly amusing game by a light, repeated tapping on her shoulder.

   "Yes?" she asked innocently, turning to Lara.

   "You do know you're wearing pants, right?"

Maeve went still, pondering this. It did Kieran little good, however, as she kept her hands wrapped tightly around his neck.

   "Gee, I guess I am," she finally laughed sheepishly, climbing off of Kieran and releasing him.

   "That's okay," Kieran wheezed. "I could see down your shirt. It would've been a good way to go."

A silence fell over the bar. A still, heavy, oppressive silence. 

The mid-morning merry-makers – all six of those exceedingly alliterative souls – came to a dead halt. 

Drinks sat on tables and bar alike, utterly unheeded. 

And somewhere in the distance, a dog barked.

In after days, every denizen of the bar sober enough to recall the incident would confess to noticing a definite application for the term 'déjà vu'.

   "This man does not learn," Lara observed sadly as Maeve leapt.

However, it seemed that Luck was going to decide with the fickleness typical to her that she would take up temporary residence with Kieran. And so it was that, just before Maeve's claws – which had an absurd tendency to appear only when she was angry, along with her gigantic hammer and an ominous gathering of thunderclouds – reached his eyes, the clock struck eleven-thirty.

   "Crap!" three disgruntled love fairies yelped, leaping to their feet and bolting from the bar.

   "Uh, guys?" the bartender, known for his somewhat doormatish tendencies, called after them hesitantly. "Guys? Guys?"

He pouted.

   "No money for me…"

-----------------------------------

   "Made it," Kieran gasped as he dropped exhaustedly into his seat on the express train between Argentis realm and Mortal. 

   "Now, there's a miracle," Maeve groaned, shoving her purse into the overhead compartment and collapsing into her seat next to Kieran.

   "Wasn't that great, guys?" Lara squealed, turning around in her seat in front of them with an energetic bounce.

   "Y-yeah. Great," Maeve agreed with no enthusiasm whatsoever.

   "Seriously! When I saw Kieran jump over the guard and run in front of the train, I wished I'd had a camera!"

   "Funny," Kieran said, laughing weakly. "I wished I'd had nine lives, like a cat."

   "Don't ever take a chance like that again," Maeve said severely, glaring at him.

Kieran stared at her for a moment, head tilted to the side, blinking in confusion.

   "After all, if you die, I'll probably get in trouble," the blonde finished airily.

   "Thanks, friend," Kieran said beamingly. "I love ya too."

   "Never mind that," Maeve said briskly. "Let's get our plan straight for when we get to the mortal realm. Now," she continued, withdrawing a file folder from inside her jacket and spreading it out on the tray table bolted to the back of the seat in front of her, "Lara, you know you've got Miss Filia and Mr. Xellos to deal with, right?"

   "We thought it would be best to give you some hands-on training," Kieran hastened to add.

   "Yup!" Lara replied cheerfully. "It'll be fun!"

   "Gods grant you keep that enthusiasm," Maeve sighed, rubbing her forehead in weariness and just a touch of sympathy for this exceedingly innocent girl with no idea as of yet what she was getting into. "So, do you know where the two little lovebirds are?"

   "Oh, I'll figure it out," Lara replied easily.

   "I think Kieran's rubbing off on you, kid," Maeve said, sweatdropping hugely.

   "Cool!" Lara chirped.

Kieran beamed.

Maeve did not.

   "That's not a good thing," she told the younger girl gently. "What I mean is, it might not be as easy to locate the clients as you think. You should at least have some idea of where you're going. After all, we're working on a time limit, and the realm's a big place. Not only that, but...ah...finding Xellos might not be as easily as you're anticipating."

   "Hey, don't sweat the details," Lara said, waving away Maeve's protests. "That's what my dad always said."

   "Oh, yeah? What's your dad do?" Kieran asked.

   "Actually, he's a janitor at Love Fairies Inc."

Maeve glanced sideways at Kieran. 

Kieran glanced sideways at Maeve.

As one, they decided that they would be running to the nearest gas station from now on when they needed to use the "little fairies room". 

   "Uh, anyway," Maeve said, anxious to get the topic onto something else, "Kieran, what do we want to do with the other two couples? Do we each take one couple, or deal with them each together, and each take the male of the female like we usually do?"

   "To be honest, I'd rather team up for the other two couples," Kieran replied. "It tends to take less time that way, and then we'll be free sooner to help Lara with Mr. Xellos and Miss Filia."

   "And how do you know I'll need help?" Lara asked defensively.

Maeve and Kieran exchanged amused looks.

   "You dear, funny little girl," Maeve chuckled.

Lara blinked.

   "What?"

   "You'll see," Kieran said ominously. "You'll see."

  "That's what I was afraid of," Lara said somewhere between a sigh and a whimper. "This really _won't_ be as easy as I thought! Is it too late to become an accountant or something instead?"


End file.
